...hysterical, depressed n wondering...

i was hysterical, depressed, i'm crying all da time bcoz i love him so much... i wish it never happened n i still wonder what the future will be rite now... i know i love him..my life without him is empty but my wound is so so deep..can the trust be ever re-built..

i dnt want to live like this...always wondering..maybe he turned to sumone else bcoz i wasn't doing enough in our relationship..i want to fight for what i deserve..i love him but apart of me just doesn't trust him anymore..

i feel that he is still having affair with 'her'..it's just feeling within me..i do not know how far its true..cause he cares for 'her' a lot than me..i'm hurting so bad n he doesn't even cares...how can i know whether my suspicious is true or i'm acting silly..

he has caused great pain in my life n with all his lies n humiliation, he has caused me to become so emotionally drained..i also told him what goes around comes around...sooner or later u get cought at your own games but the bad thing is he hurt the one that truly loved him..n wanted to grow old n take care of him..but he will hv to grow old n alone by himself..unless he find another fool gurl but hopefully she will be much smarter than i..


i believe that everyone can change..but even if he does i will probably never trust him...n i really can't hv a relationship without trust..i hv terrible asthma n it nearly threw me into an asthma attack..i love him but i hv been through so much..n i dn't feel like i deserve to be treated like this...